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The Rabbi's 47%

9/19/2012

 
Some leaders think they cannot worry about the people they will never win over. That's an idea that has been in the news lately. So, it seems like a good time to make a confession about rabbis. We, too, have a large percentage of our population that we sometimes are tempted to ignore.

The Days of Awe are a time for making confessions and seeking forgiveness for our sins and flaws, so let me ask forgiveness for myself. I apologize for the ways that I sometimes see the numbers and neglect to see the people.
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When I look out over the sanctuary during the Days of Awe, there are a lot of people. I see the people who are there all year long. These are the people who come to Shabbat services and adult study programs on a regular basis, who volunteer their time to help make the congregation work, or people who are generous with their resources to fund all that we do. These are the people—maybe 18% of the congregation—for whom every rabbi and every congregation is deeply grateful. We couldn't exist without them.

Of course, I also see some faces that are around the synagogue less frequently. There are parents of children in our religious school who might attend services sporadically over the year. There are people on the periphery of the congregation who attend and support the congregation occasionally, but who mostly stay on the sidelines. There are people who were very active in the past, or in previous congregations, but they feel they now have completed their duty. There are people who only come a few times a year, but make a big difference when they do participate with their enthusiasm and true love of Torah and the Jewish people. This is the largest percentage of the congregation. Let's say they make up 47%, just to pick a number.

Then there is the other 35%. These are the people who come to the High Holy Days, especially if they land on a weekend and if they don't have other plans. They send in their membership contributions every year, even though they say they, "don't use the Temple so much." They do count on the synagogue to be there for them when they need it. They want the rabbi to officiate at a funeral when a close relative dies. They want to be visited in the hospital when they are sick. However, it is unlikely they will come to the congregation's help when the congregation needs it.

So, here is my confession. Paying attention to the first 18% is easy. Every rabbi does that. Frankly, it is a privilege to care for people who care so much about the Jewish community. No problem there.

It may be surprising that we also worry a lot about the last 35%. We wonder if we are one bad holiday sermon or one unreturned phone call away from losing them. We worry if they will decide not to renew their membership, not to be a part of the Jewish community, not to keep Judaism in their lives.

We forget about the 47%, though. We forget that it is also our job to make sure that they stay connected—and not just with their membership dollars or by sending their kids to religious school. Many of the Rabbi's 47% are people who are on the periphery because they feel that there is no place for them in the center. 

They do not have time to volunteer or the discretionary funds to make a large contribution. They love being Jewish, but the adult education and other programs at the synagogue do not appeal to them. They have busy lives and the synagogue, while important, has to wait in line for their attention along with the PTA, their kids' sports commitments, their secular social circles, their jobs, their families, and the rest of their lives. We sometimes forget about these people … and we cannot afford to do that.

Most rabbis and most congregational leaders complain that It is always the same people who do all the work and all the giving all the time. Sometimes, though, rabbis and lay leaders do not realize the ways in which we create barriers for nearly half of the congregation. Many of this forgotten half, if asked to do something specific that would interest them, would be ready to pitch in. Many of them feel shut out of participating because they are not in the same age group or social circle as the congregation's leaders. Some just don't know how they can help, or they have never been asked. 

(Surveys and flyers don't count as asking. People want to be asked in person. They want to be asked in a way that respects their time and their abilities.)

It's my job to care about these people, too, and often I forget to do that. I am sorry for that. 

We are one people and there aren't all that many of us. Nobody can be left out. We are a people who celebrate our unity. When we divide ourselves into smaller and smaller statistical pieces, we forget to see the people behind the numbers.

On Yom Kippur, when I look out over the congregation, I want to see all of them. I want to see each of them as an individual with lives that are complicated, interesting, busy and beautiful. I want to open my heart to doing what I can to allow each person to find his or her joyful place in the community of the Jewish people.

L'shanah tovah tikateivu.
howard maunus
9/19/2012 05:18:53 am

Thank you for the insightful remarks. I agree and I personally am in that 47% you speak of today. Growing up, the JCC was the center of our Jewish universe because the synagogue represented a forced experience. My mother was very dedicated to ORT, Hadassah and the synagogue but my father and sister were disengaged to a large degree. My sister did not go through a Bat Mitzvah and once I completed my Bar Mitzvah, our synagogue experience mainly ended except for high holidays.
I find it difficult to attend Friday services for many reasons but my wife and I feel it is important for our children to understand their religious background and be educated in this regard. I feel that the synagogue fulfills a role in bringing together the Jewish community but there still is that void regarding athletic and intellectual pursuits beyond Torah study. I do appreciate your concern however.

Reb Jeff link
9/19/2012 05:30:15 am

I think you speak for a lot of people, Howard. Thank you for your response. I want to know how to do a better job of making people like you feel more connected to the Jewish community. Is there some way that services could do a better job of speaking to your needs? Are there other programs that would make the synagogue a more inviting place for you?

Howard B. Maunus
9/19/2012 04:07:34 pm

The responsibility of the synagogue is to educate its membership and engage in issues that effect it both locally and nationally. An excellent way to fulfill this role would be to have local candidates speak at the synagogue to hear their views on topics of interest to our members. Another way would be to have qualified speakers talk to us regarding vital issues of our time. A tremendous problem in our society and especially among our members is the disengagement from the political process on almost every level. This is how democracy fails and without institutions such as churches and synagogues leading the way, our society fails its citizens. It is not for these institutions to pick sides, but to simply engage and educate. We have a moral responsibility to be a leader in the community and this is why my wife was so excited about Social Action. Tikkun olam -repairing the world should be the motto for Social Action and how best to start to repair the world than to educate and inform on issues that have great impact in our every day lives.

Reb Rachel link
9/20/2012 12:10:04 am

Thank you so much for this post. As I read it, I found myself nodding my head again and again -- yes, I can relate to that; yes, I can relate to that; yes, I can relate to that too! Thank you for the reminder that it is my job to serve all of us, wherever we are.

Alan Haspel
9/22/2012 01:41:39 pm

Thanks for writing these thoughts. I'm happy I read it.


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