The 47th day of the Counting of the Omer begins as Shabbat ends on Saturday night. Tonight we count six weeks and five days of the Omer.

This is the day of Hod within Malchut, humility within nobility. Today I am thinking about my mother-in-law, Amy Wolfson, who died last night after a long battle with cancer. Her funeral is Monday. I am thinking about how much she loved her family and how much we will miss her.

If we human beings have any real claim on nobility, it is not because of what we can do with rocket ships, how deeply we can probe into the laws of nature, or how many comforts we can surround ourselves with. It is only in our ability to know each other, care for one another, and, in all humility, recognize how dependent we are upon each other.

Amy Wolfson was an accomplished attorney who worked hard and won recognition. But the thing she cared about more than anything else was her role as a mother to her three children and their spouses, a grandmother to her four grandchildren, A sister to her brother, a faithful friend to her friends, and a leader in her Temple Sisterhood. All she cared about was the way she connected deeply to others. In that, she lived a truly noble and humble life.

On this 47th Day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to living by her example and finding my nobility, not in conventionally recognized accomplishments, but in the way I form meaningful relationships with others.

May this be a day for you in which you grow in your recognition of your connection to others and, in so doing, arise to your most noble self.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 46th day of the Counting of the Omer begins with Shabbat on Friday night. Tonight we count six weeks and four days of the Omer.

This is the day of Netzach within Malchut, endurance within nobility. Today I am thinking about how I use my authority and leadership. It is not enough to lead, one must lead toward something – toward a goal that makes the world a bit closer to what it should be.

Anyone who has ever taken on a job of authority knows the conundrum. Do leaders lead in order to keep things going as they have been, or do they lead in order to transform and move people forward to new places? To use a common sports metaphor, do we limit ourselves to "blocking and tackling," or do we try to change the parameters of the game itself?

Practically speaking, we have to do both. If we don't do sound and honest maintenance of institutions, there is no chance of ever moving forward. On the other hand, institutions that exist just to keep themselves going don't last long in a world that is defined by change. More importantly, the don't fulfill the universal mission of making our world a better place.

We need leaders, but we also need leaders with a vision worth following.

On this 46th Day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to making my leadership worthy of the name – not to stay still, but to lead others in moving forward to a vision of becoming better people in a better community in a better world.

May this be a day for you in which you consider the many different ways in which you are a leader. May you find inspiration to take others toward their highest aspirations.

For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 45th day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Thursday night. Tonight we count six weeks and three days of the Omer.

This is the day of Tiferet within Malchut, balance within nobility. What makes our lives noble? Certainly, it has something to do with being honorable, upright and decent. It also has something to being a visible model and leader for others to emulate those qualities. 

Communities – especially faith communities – expect their leaders to be all of those things, and they should. But living a balanced life also means having a private life, a family life, when one is not on display and not demonstrating noble qualities for all to see. We all need time out of the limelight to have balanced, sane lives.

Perhaps the real measure of nobility is the ability to act nobly also when nobody is watching.

My family is going through a crisis right now as someone very dear to us is dying. Forty-five days into the Counting of the Omer is not a good time to stop writing these posts. But I also have to take care of my family. I suppose, that is the noble thing to do.

Do me a favor. On this 45th Day of the Counting of the Omer, say a little prayer for my family. Send me a little bit of the energy I need to be noble for them. 

May this be a day for you are a model for others in living a life of integrity and nobility. But don't forget to be that person for yourself, too.

Thanks.

For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 44th day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Wednesday night. Tonight we count six weeks and two days of the Omer.

This is the day of Gevurah within Malchut, discipline within nobility. On this day, I think about the obligation for self-restraint that goes along with authority. Whenever life gives us power over other people – whether in commerce, in the workplace, or over our children – we have a duty to consider how we use that power and to set boundaries to prevent its abuse.

I think about times when I have lost my temper in dealing with a person whose job it is to serve me. I think about the times when I have said something that deflated the self-esteem of a coworker. I think about the times when I have been overly harsh with one of my children. I recognize that self-discipline is not just a matter of keeping myself from harm, it is a covenant with the people in my life, especially the people who count on me to live up to standards of kindness and respect. To fail in keeping those standards is to lose a bit of ones inherent nobility.

On this 44th Day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit myself to guarding myself against treating others with anything less than the common decency I expect for myself. May this be a day for you in which you set an intention to recognize the power you have over others and to regard that power as a sacred trust.

For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 43rd day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Tuesday night. Tonight we count six weeks and one day of the Omer. Today is Yom Yerushalayim, Jerusalem Day. It is the holiday that commemorates the anniversary of Israel taking control of East Jerusalem at the end of the Six Day War in 1967.

This is the day of Chesed within Malchut, love within nobility. On this day, I think about how we often believe that the "noble thing to do" is to act tough-minded and dispassionately. We fail to recognize that our compassion and instinct toward kindness and forgiveness is also what makes us noble.

On this date on the Hebrew calendar, the Israeli army overcame Jordanian forces to capture the Old City of Jerusalem and reclaimed the holiest site in Judaism, the Western Wall. The move into the Old City came after Israel had told King Hussein of Jordan that Israeli forces would not move into Jerusalem if there was no aggression against Israel along that front. Despite the warning, Jordan began shelling Israeli civilians on June 6, 1967. Before the end of the following day, Israel had captured East Jerusalem. The war was over. For the first time in two millennia, the Jewish people had sovereignty over their holiest site.

Moshe Dayan, Israel's Defense Minister, famously declared, "We have united Jerusalem." He assured the Arab states that Israel would allow the Muslim and Christian holy places in the Old City to remain under the control of the religious authorities of their faiths. Israel has kept that promise to this day. However, there is something in Dayan's pronouncement that does not ring true – or, perhaps, that seems unfulfilled.

Jerusalem today is not united. In fact, Jerusalem has become less and less united in the decades since the Six Day War. Today the city is divided with entirely separate sections and neighborhoods for Jews and Arabs. Very few Jews wander into the Arab neighborhoods and few Arabs wander into Jewish neighborhoods. 

It is not only ironic, it is painful and heartbreaking that on the day of "love in nobility" there is little love or nobility on either side of the divide. In recent years, some Jews have used Yom Yerushalayim as an occasion for loud and provocative marches through Arab neighborhoods that are designed to infuriate and humiliate Arabs. Many Arabs have a parallel observance on the Muslim calendar, called Quds Day, to denounce Israel and call for its destruction.

I hope for the day when Yom Yerushalayim is not a day for Jews to gloat and incite hatred over the defeat of the Arabs; I hope for the day when Arabs do not see this as a day to swell in their prideful anger. Yom Yerushalayim should be a day, as Moshe Dayan declared, for Jews and Arabs to dwell together in unity. That is a much greater nobility than the hatred and recrimination that defines the divide today.

On this 43rd Day of the Counting of the Omer, I pray for the nobility to have compassion, even for enemies. I commit to opening my heart in genuine caring and forgiveness and to find a bit of the nobility that is lacking in this fractured world.

May this be a day in which you discover the love that is at the heart of the highest nobility.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 42nd day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Monday night. Tonight we count six weeks of the Omer. In the United States, this is the evening of Memorial Day.

This is the day of Malchut within Yesod, nobility within connection. On this day, I think about how our lives are made noble in the ways we connect with others, both those who are immediately present in our lives and those who are removed from us by distance and by death.

Today's holiday used to be called Decoration Day, a reference to the flags and flowers that would decorate the stones in military cemeteries. I like "Memorial Day" better. We still have the parades and the wreaths on the graves, but this name puts the emphasis where it belongs – not on the outward display, but on the internal experience of remembering and consecrating the lives of people who have given their all in service to our country. We remember the person, not just the flag, the uniforms and the displays.

The moments that mean the most to me on Memorial Day are the ones in which people tell the real stories of the men and women who have died. Here is one such story, about Lance Cpl. James Boelk, a Marine who was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. His family describes him as a practical joker and a guy who "loved to make the girls scream." He also was a soldier who was killed by a roadside bomb in Helmand province in southern Afghanistan, another young soldier who died in service to his country.

When we take the time to remember people – not as statistics or as idealized heroes, but as real people with real lives – we find the true nobility in their lives and in our own. This is a day for remembering human beings, not wartime policies and strategies, not flowers and bunting. It is a time to connect with the humanity that connects us all to each other and to remember that we discover our own highest selves in that connection.

On this 42nd Day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to honoring and truly remembering those who have served and those whose lives have made my life possible. May this be a day in which you find blessing in the relationships and personal connections that bring dignity, honor and nobility to your life.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 41st day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Sunday night. Tonight we count fIve weeks and six days of the Omer. 

This is the day of Yesod within Yesod, connection within connection. On this day, I think about the depth of my connection to others. I ask myself, not just whether my relationships are enduring and compassionate, but whether they are truly connections at all. I ask myself if I connect deeply with others or if I remain superficial and aloof with the other people in my life.

Social scientists like to remind us that human beings are social animals. On a fundamental, biological level, we need each other. Without others to share our lives, life itself seems pointless and purposeless to us.

Jewish tradition has the same insight. The great medieval Jewish philosopher, Maimonides (or Rambam, as he is known in Jewish tradition) said that, in the absence of others to share our lives, all of the Torah is pointless. The Torah only exists – and that means that our relationship with God, too, only exists – in order for us to interact with and to know one another. Knowing other people, entering their lives in true connection, is necessary for knowing God. In some way, relating to other human beings is relating to God.

On this 41st day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to deepening my relationships with others. I set an intention for myself to move beyond the superficial and towards deeper sharing, belonging, listening and caring with the people in my life. 

May this be a day in which you find blessing in forming connections with others that are deeply rewarding and meaningful. May those connections open for you a deeper connection to God.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 40th day of the Counting of the Omer begins as Shabbat ends on Saturday night. Tonight we count fIve weeks and five days of the Omer. 

This is the day of Hod within Yesod, humility within connection. On this day, I think about connecting with other people in a way that really allows me to see who they are. I remember how easy it is for my ego to cloud the way I perceive others – thinking first about my interests, my desires, and my assumptions before I bother to see the world through the other person's eyes.

Letting go of ego is one of the most difficult spiritual challenges we face. We live our whole lives locked into being just one person. We never get to take off the lens of our ego to try on the experience of the world from another person's point of view. It is so difficult to get out of our own way. Yet, there is hardly anything that is more richly rewarding in life than connecting so deeply with another person that we see the world as if it were new, as if we had never seen anything else before.

In order to achieve a connection to another person that is that deep, it is necessary first to let go of our ongoing fascination with ourselves. In order for me to rise to the heights that are possible when I identify with another, I first have to have the humility to recognize that not everything is "all about me."

On this 40th day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to keeping my focus and attention on others. I commit to noticing my preconceptions about others and to let go of those images and thoughts. I commit to trying to see the world through the eyes of another.

May this be a day in which you find blessing in the true and selfless connections you form with other people. May the experience open for you worlds beyond your imagining.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 39th day of the Counting of the Omer begins with Shabbat on Friday night. Tonight we count fIve weeks and four days of the Omer. 

This is the day of Netzach within Yesod, endurance within connection. On this day, I think about making relationships last. It is a particularly pressing issue for me, personally, as I prepare to leave a community that has meant a lot to me over the last three years. This evening, in fact, there will be a dinner at the Temple for the congregation and me to say farewell to each other. So, I wonder about this: How do I make sure that the meaningful personal connections I have made endure after I have gone?

Just about every day for the last two months, someone has asked me, "Will you come visit after you move?" "Will you think of us?" and, most frequently of all, people ask, "Am I still going to be able to read your blog?" 

It is undeniable that physical presence makes it a lot easier to maintain connection. "Out of sight" really does tend to lead to "out of mind." However, if I am committed to the idea of creating enduring relationships, I must also be willing to stay connected to people despite distance. 

That is made more complicated by the nature of my profession. As one rabbi leaves a congregation, it is necessary to make room for the congregation's new rabbi to take his or her place. I have been fortunate in both of the congregation's I have served to have been followed by excellent rabbis. Just as I have intentionally stayed away from the last congregation I served to allow my successor to establish herself there, so do I now intend to make myself scarce after I leave Temple Beit HaYam to allow Rabbi Matthew Durbin to establish himself as the congregation's true and capable spiritual leader.

So, in answer to the questions: 

• Yes, I will come visit after a few years have passed. I've heard that it gets cold in New England (ha ha) and that having a warm and friendly place in Florida to visit is a wonderful thing. Just don't expect me back too soon.

• Yes, I certainly will think often about the wonderful friendships I have made at Temple Beit HaYam and in Martin County. You will be in my prayers and in my heart. That is really what makes relationships endure. Don't you think?

• Yes, I fully intend to keep writing this blog. In fact, I started the blog as a way to stay in touch with friends at Congregation Beth Israel in Massachusetts when I left there. Whenever I write posts here, I think about the people near and far who read them, and that makes me feel that our connection continues and grows. If you read it, I will write it.

On this 39th day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to sustaining and keeping my connection to people who are dear to me. I remember that our connections to other human beings are what, ultimately, make us human. Sustaining those connections keeps us human.

May this be a day in which you endure in all of your relationships – the ones that are tested by time, by difficult circumstances, and by physical distance. May you endure in your humanity by enduring in your connection to others.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer

The 38th day of the Counting of the Omer begins on Thursday night. Tonight we count fIve weeks and three days of the Omer. 

This is the day of Tiferet within Yesod, balance within connection. On this day, I think about creating balance in my relationships. I consider how I am open to the needs of others without ignoring my own needs. I consider how I assert myself without trampling on other people.

Building relationships – either a one-on-one partnership, or as part of a community – is all about balance. Relationships fail or become corrosive when one person or group dominates another. They succeed and thrive when each person is given an opportunity to shine where his or her soul is brightest.

Many relationships, friendships and communities begin with the domination of one person or a small group over others. That is natural. Often, the initial impetus to come together comes from the energy on one side. Eventually, though, a balance has to be reached in which everyone feels that the connection has a mutual give and take. If not, connections tend to fall apart when some person or group feels they are not being given a fair chance to shine.

Think about your most important relationships. Are there times when you, or other members of the relationships, feel left out? Ignored? Unimportant? Are there times when you feel like you're the only one putting energy into the relationship? Do you feel unappreciated? Exhausted? In order for human connections to work, there needs to be balance so everyone feels included and everyone feels appreciated.

The same is true for our relationship with God. If you expect God to do all the work in your relationship – grant your wishes, listen to your sorrows, forgive your sins – you will probably feel disappointed at some point. Your relationship has become unbalanced. Spend some more time thinking about what God wants and needs from you – your engagement and service to others, your commitment to spiritual practice, your willingness to accept responsibility for your shortcomings. 

Of course, if you think you are the one doing all the work in your relationship with God, that will lead to imbalance, too. Appreciate what God has given you. Listen to the music of your life, even in times of hardship. Accept forgiveness and know that you are loved.

On this 38th day of the Counting of the Omer, I commit to noticing the give-and-take in my relationships. I commit to reengaging where I have been passive, and, where I have been too dominant, to give space for others to grow.

May this be a day in which you grow closer to others by finding balance. May you feel more connected to God by participating in the world around you, finding holiness in every moment, appreciating your blessings, and feeling how deeply loved you really are.


For the introduction to the Counting of the Omer, click on this link:
The First Day of the Counting of the Omer