O Lord

(A Prayer for T'shuvah)

O Lord,

Forgive me first for wanting to be forgiven.

Don’t judge me for the ego You gave me,
The one that makes me feel deserving of attention.

Instead, remember that time I held my little girl
When she was crying, uncontrollably, 
Out of shame for having tattled on her sister.

I wrapped myself around her, crying myself
Softly, for the pain with which she struggled 
Over the trifle of an intemperate word.
How I wished I could feel such remorse.

I told her, “There, there. It’s all alright.
You didn’t do anything wrong. I forgive you.”
But I thought I was the one who needed forgiving.

We taught her to be good, but without warning her
About the regret that tastes like loneliness.

Remember that and forgive me, too,

O Lord.