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How to Pray?

11/28/2011

5 Comments

 
A few months ago, I wrote a post titled, "Why Pray?"  that got a lot of response in the comments and even more in private messages. After some time of reflection, I'd like to follow up on it.

In the original post, I talked about some of the historical answers Jews have given to this basic question about prayer. Over the centuries, Jewish prayer has been understood as a replacement for the Temple sacrifices, a way of expressing personal attachment to God, the fulfillment of a commandment, an act of mystical unification of the godhead, and a way of creating a shared social experience among Jews.

At the end of the post, I also mentioned another answer to the "why pray" question—the answer that means the most to me and that, I believe, is the emerging answer for Judaism in the twenty-first century. Prayer is a spiritual discipline that helps us discover our inner life, develop a sense of equanimity and peace, and deepen our joy in living. 

I would like to explore some of the nuts-and-bolts aspects of that idea more deeply by sharing some of my own personal prayer practices. This is my answer to the related question: “How to pray?” Ideally, I would like you to join the conversation by leaving comments with your own experiences, observations and hopes from your prayer life.

I pray every day, but my prayer does not always take the same form. For me, the variation of different types of prayer experiences is part of what makes the practice fulfilling. It makes prayer feel like an ongoing experiment in which I am collecting spiritual data about how different types of prayer make me feel.

On most days, I pray using the liturgy of the siddur, although I do not often use the full traditional service. Sometimes I pray in the morning standing and wearing a talit (and sometimes tefilin, too). Just as often, I pray as part of a seated meditation. I love to be outdoors, so sometimes I pray while going for a walk around my neighborhood, in a park, or wherever I happen to be. Over the years, I've written a bunch of different "short versions" of the morning service, and I freely switch around the ones I use.  

When I pray with the words of the prayerbook, I pray only in Hebrew. That works for me because I understand the words of the traditional Hebrew liturgy and I find that they are difficult to translate. When I call God, "melech," for example, that conveys a different feeling for me than I get from the English words "king" or "sovereign." In similar ways, "kadosh" means something different to me than "holy" or "sacred," and "Yisrael" has a spiritual meaning that goes beyond "Israel" or "the Jewish people." 

I recognize that the special character of prayer in Hebrew is not available or apparent to everyone. For those who want to pray in English, I recommend looking for a translation that speaks to you. Not all translations are created equal. 

What have I discovered in my varied and eclectic prayer life? 

First, I find that the commitment to praying daily is most important. As with jogging or practicing an instrument, it would be foolish to expect much reward from praying if it is only a “once in a while” experience. The benefit of prayer comes from repetition, familiarity and a deepening practice. 

Second, I believe that prayer is best for me when I am able to suspend (or, at least, quiet) the rational, analytical part of my brain. Prayer is more about feeling than thinking; it is more like poetry than prose. My most meaningful experiences of prayer are those in which I enter into the world of the prayer and allow it to open me, rather than me trying to open the prayer with “left brain” thinking.

Third, I have found that, for me, prayer works. I don’t mean that I always feel peaceful or insightful after praying—on the contrary, sometimes it is aggravating. I certainly do not mean that I regularly feel “touched by God” in prayer. Rather, I have found that after practicing prayer regularly for a long time, I feel that I have become a less anxious person and better able to deal with life’s ups and downs. I feel more in touch with myself and with what makes me truly happy. There are times for me when prayer is ecstatic and intensely joyful, and I am grateful for such moments. However, for me, the long-term change in the way I feel in my own skin has been more valuable to me than any particular moment of transcendence.

Do you have comparable experiences with prayer? An entirely different experiences? What works and what does not work for you?

I know that several of my readers are also bloggers. Let me encourage you to write about your own prayer experiences and include links to your writings about prayer in the comments.


Other posts on this topic:
Why Pray?
Learning About Jewish Prayer from Yoga

5 Comments
Barb L.
11/28/2011 03:23:16 pm

My morning walk in the woods with my dog has become a wordless prayer for me, a prayer with my feet and with my eyes. A time to feel, observe, appreciate and accept the world around me.

Then a Shema, generally in my car in the parking lot just before going in to work to orient me to my day and give me a sense of purpose.

My week is not complete without Shabbat morning prayer, a time with no other purpose, knocking off the dust that has accumulated in the past week and re-energizing for the week ahead.

Has prayer made me more peaceful? Definitely! More at peace with myself and with others.

Reply
Frume Sarah link
11/29/2011 02:47:54 am

I love how rationally and calmly you articulate how and why you pray. Pray does indeed come in many forms -- even to the same person.

After the birth of our first child, I was dismayed to find that I was unable to set aside time for daily prayer. I was either busy nursing, doing laundry, or trying to catch up on sleep. My father wisely counseled that the time I spent nourishing my child could be considered a form of prayer when approached in a mindful way. It was one of the most liberating and helpful pieces of advice I received in those early days of motherhood.

With my nurslings now past that special time (11, 8, and 4),my mornings are no less rushed. SOmetimes I am able to squeeze in moments of formal prayer. Other times, it is prayerful thoughts as I prepare breakfast, make lunches, or knead dough for the challah.

Prayer by Halakhic standards? Hardly. But acceptable in the Sight of the Holy One of Creation? Without a doubt.

Reply
Reb Rachel link
11/29/2011 03:33:00 am

My own daily prayer practices have shifted over recent years. First I moved toward a practice of more liturgical prayer; then, after my son was born, I moved toward a practice of directing my heart and mind toward God, sometimes using words of the liturgy I know by heart, sometimes by climbing the rungs of the prayer service by reflecting on each of their themes. (Upside to this latter kind of prayer: it can be done while holding an infant or even while playing trains with a toddler!) I wrote a post about these changes a while back: http://velveteenrabbi.blogs.com/blog/2010/12/prayer-life-changes.html

I'll try to take you up on the invitation to write more about how I pray now -- if I manage that, I'll drop another link here...

Reply
Ruchi Koval link
11/29/2011 04:56:33 am

Hi Jeff, I discovered your blog via twitter and thought this a very thoughtful post. Prayer is a very important part of my life as well, and I welcome your offer to share my thoughts. I actually blogged about this just a few days ago and referenced the difference between formal and organic prayer, as you allude to as well. Thanks for this open and hospitable forum.
http://outoftheorthobox.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-pray.html

Reply
Jonah Rank link
11/29/2011 08:43:18 am

Thanks so much for writing this. I will try to tag you on Twitter when I blog about some of my latest tefillah thoughts; I have been meaning to write some pieces on this subject for a while.

Thank you for encouraging me to resume this wish. :-)

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